Stars Jokes / Recent Jokes

I'm surprised that nobody has posted any jokes regarding this scandal yet.
For anybody overseas, or living in a cave, this woman Heidi ran a brothel that catered to Hollywood's biggest stars, movie executives, and (allegedly) professional sports players.
She got caught, and the whole affair has Hollywood buzzing. There are rumors that the judge is going to subpoena her black book, which contains all of her customers. The press has nicknamed her the "Madam of the stars."
Because of her sudden fame, she is selling interviews, pictures, etc. (She is a prostitute after all...) I heard these prices on the radio this morning.
The movie rights to her life story, including the scandal, will be sold for $1 million dollars. (This is a very high price for movie rights, but many of the top movie executives will willingly pay more for the story, to make sure that they are NOT portrayed in the movie!)
A picture of the COVER of her black book, listing her clients, sells more...

"Your teeth are like the stars," he said, As he pressed her hand, so white. He spoke the truth, for, like the stars, Her teeth came out at night!

Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world? Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!

Why are false teeth like stars? Because they come out at night.

One day some intelligent men, who were going about the nation trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's region and asked to see the wisest man in the place.

Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first intelligent guy began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you confirm that?" asked the first intelligent man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first clever guy had nothing to respond to that, so the second wise guy asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said.

"As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What evidence have you got of that?" asked the second more...

A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent."

A top movie producer was discussing his new project, an
action docudrama about famous composers, with several
top stars --- Stallone, Schwarzenneger and Van Damme.
The three action stars were allowed to select what famous
composers they would portray.

"Well", started Stallone, "I have always admired Mozart. I
would love to play him."

"Chopin has always been my favourite", said Van Damme.
"I'll play him."

The producer was pleased. "Sounds splendid! And who
do you want to portray, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach," he replied......