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Mel. Barbie Girl
Hi user, wanna go for a try?
Sure win!
Boot up!
I'm a Windows girl
In my Windows world
Life in coding
It's annoying
You can tune my files
Explore me everywhere
Imagination
Illegal operation
Come on System, let's go crashing
I'm a Windows girl
In my Windows world
Life in coding
It's annoying
You can tune my files
Explore me everywhere
Imagination
Illegal operation
I'm a prog, I'm a code
on a supermachine
when I crash,
Boot me up, and go crazy
I'm your pain,
boot me up, and start over again
Run a prog, see the fail
Just delete me
You can touch, i can hang,
like i say, just boot again
I'm a Windows girl
In my Windows world
Life in coding
It's annoying
You can tune my files
Explore me everywhere
Imagination
Illegal operation
Come on System, let's go crashing (boot, boot, bo-ot)
Come on System, let's go crashing more...

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there.' This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have three people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two people doing 12-hour shifts.'

The new man is only too happy to help, and in fact volunteers to do the first shift. He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the ocean horizon for any ships. Soon, the husband and wife start placing stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper.

The new man yells down,' Hey, no screwing!' They look at each other and yell back,' We're not screwing!' A few minutes later, they start to put driftwood into the stone circle. Again, more...

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
Twitch a lot.
Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
Become a subgenius.
Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your
seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work
up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
Walk and talk backwards.
Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the
middle of your room. Number them.
Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your
roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than
meets the eye."
Kill roaches with a more...

This is a weird but true story (with a moral). .. A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds:' What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start more...

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.

"Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.

"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible."

"Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room

Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.

Brake more...

Microsoft TV Dinner Instructions…
You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.
If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes:
Then enter:
If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.
If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner, and the desired level of cooking and press start. The oven will calculate the time and heat and cook the diner exactly to your specification.
Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted. more...