State Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

Humour: What's A Kiss?
Everything you wanted to know about a kiss; -
Definition of A Kiss:

Professors of different subjects define the same word different
ways.
Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two
straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the
expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: Kiss is the reaction of the interaction
between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: Kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary
bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis
oris muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when
returned.
Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is
higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: Kiss is an more...

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body.

Lake County, Minn.
Residents of Lake Coubnty, Minn. are thumbing their noses at a Minnesota state law mandating that they rename Squaw Creek and Squaw Bay to something less offensive.
Many of the state's 55,000 American Indians find the the word "squaw" historically used to describe an American Indian woman, to be an obscenity, according to a story in the New York Times.
Other Minnesota counties complied with the renaming law. Squaw was removed from the names of 19 sites - creeks ponds, and lakes, etc,
Not Lake County. They said there is nothing offensive in the term "squaw". The issue, they said, is whether local representation will rule or state bureaucracy.
Meanwhile in protest, they offered to rename the bodies of water Politically Correct Creek and Politically Correct Bay.
Source: Houston Chronicle

As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon(the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human genepool.And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll... JohnPernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge, Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in theparking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easyenough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the planwas for John-100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over, and then assist hisfriend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop onthe other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himselfcrashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large more...

Piloo Mody was a weighty man with a mind as nimble as his body. During one of the interludes in an otherwise very serious conference in parliament, he regaled everyone with his plea for a Parsi State. This is how it went:
'This country should be handed over to the Parsis - on a managing agency basis. We will charge only a five per cent managing agency commission, which is a hell of a lot less than the Government of India spends on administration.'' For this, we will give you a clean, honest, impartial and non-discriminatory government. There are only a hundred thousand of us, and after we satiate ourselves with corruption and nepotism, there will still be enough left over for everyone else.' We are the most non-communal community in the world. We believe that either you are a Parsi or you are not. If you are not, it makes no hoot of a difference who you are.' Go ahead, go breaking up this country into a hundred parts. Finally our turn will come.'' Then we will demand a Parsi more...

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying.
The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says, "Okay, what's the Capital of Montana?"
The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!"