Stationary Jokes / Recent Jokes

I went to a stationary shop the other day but it had moved

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?

A: Travelled by bus?
This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:

Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn

Q: What warning was given by the other party?

A: Moo
"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would more...

Below are actual insurance claim form gaffes. These are NEW (mostly), and are the collection made by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas mag... but. .. they've escaped.

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?

A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were: Q - What warning was given by you? A - Horn Q - What warning was given by the other party? A - Moo

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front more...

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.""I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q: What warning was given by you?
A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.""On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.""I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight""I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any more...