Sticker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there? ”
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General Wheeler. ”
“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve got to have a sticker on the windshield. ”
The general said, “Drive on! ”
The sentry said, “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker. ”
The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on! ”
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver? ”

At last. A bumper sticker for both parties. FINALLY,
Someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. This hot selling bumper sticker comes from the great state of New York!
"RUN HILLARY RUN"
Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"

Dear Gladys,
As I was browsing through a local Christian bookstore, I spotted a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day since I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I purchased the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is... and I failed to notice that the light had changed. It's a good thing that someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I never would have noticed. I found that there are a LOT of people who love Jesus.
While I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Suddenly, everyone started honking! I just leaned more...

I saw this bumper sticker yesterday.
Our child was
INMATE OF THE MONTH
at Santa Clara County Juvinile Detention Facility

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car
was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?”The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General Wheeler.”“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve got to have a sticker on the windshield.”
The general said, “Drive on!”The sentry said, “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you
try driving in without a sticker.”The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on!”The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do
I shoot you or the driver?”

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!"Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up more...