Stolen Jokes / Recent Jokes
Las Vegas -
An accused car thief might have earned an "A" for effort, but he was arrested anyway. Recently, detectives from the repeat offender unit spotted a suspected car thief - identified as Juliano Rosado, 29 - in a new car with a temporary license tag.
A quick call to the dealer revealed the car had been stolen. When the man parked the car, detectives obtained a duplicate key and took the car back. When the man came out of his home, he looked in vain but couldn't find the stolen car.
Police say he then went to another car dealership and stole a pickup truck. The results were the same: Detectives watched him drive off in the truck, then used a spare key to recover the vehicle after the suspect parked and entered a pawnshop. "When he came out he started looking up the street, waiting to see the truck, you could see his shoulders slump when he saw it wasn't there," police said.
Undaunted, he took a public bus to a more...
S T. C R O I X F A L L S, Wis.? If at first you don't succeed, steal, steal again.
At least that's what police say a Minnesota man did after they foiled his alleged felony theft of a St. Croix Falls, Wis., Wal-Mart store.
James Casarez was charged with shoplifting a toy car, pellet pistol, phone and other items from the store last June, and possessing items that could be used to set up a methamphetamine lab. The 36-year-old man then swiped the items again, this time from the police station, authorities said.
Two days after Casarez was arrested and released, St. Croix Falls police found a window smashed at the station, and an officer reported that the goods allegedly stolen by Casarez were missing.
After an investigation, police charged Casarez with burglarizing the police station, St. Croix Falls Police Officer Erin Murphy said.
"It could happen anywhere," Murphy said, "and he was more...
It is said: "A thief is a person of low position, but he can outwit a man of noble character." In the Shuifu Temple of my county, there was a big hanging bell. Once some countrymen from Baling came down the river and moored their boat nearby. They wanted to steal the bell with which to cast farming tools. Between them they removed the bell from the belfry and lowered it onto the ground. Having stuffed the bell with mud, they smashed it into pieces and carried the fragments away with shoulder poles. Not a sound was heard by the villagers in the neighborhood. Again I heard of a thief who broke into a house in broad daylight and stole a chime stone. * When he stepped out the door into the street, he fell in with the master of the house coming home. "Grandpa," the thief greeted him and asked, " do you want to buy a chime stone?" "No, thanks," replied the old man, " I already have one at home." Thereupon, the thief walked off with what he more...
In a small midwestern town, nestled-up in the wee rolling hills of
southern Indiana, there's a microcosm of all that is (and shall ever
be) the Great Mid West. It's known as Brown County. Yup. That's
my hometown!
And if you want to know what's going on in Brown County, you only
have to read the Sheriff's Log in the local paper, The Brown County
Democrat. Heck, even if you don't want to know what's going on, you
still read it for the comic relief!
This is a small collection of some of the actual phone calls received
by the Sheriff's department in good 'ol Brown County, Indiana:
Man on Bellsville Road reported someone has knocked down
his mailbox and then came back and ran over it.
11:14pm Man reports suspicious vehicle on Butler Road.
11:34pm Deputy reports vehicle had a couple of "lovers"
in it. They were advised to pull the car off the road.
Man has found a couch hidden behind a wood pile.
Woman's washing more...
A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!
The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"
The driver replied, "Was I officer, I''m terribly sorry but I wasn''t aware of that."
The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"
The man replied, "I don''t have one officer."
"Of course you do," said the policeman.
"No sir, I don''t," said the man.
"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.
"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.
"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.
"Yes I''m afraid so sir,"
Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me more...
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.
In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened."
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
A bank robber more...
You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.