Stone Jokes / Recent Jokes

After 9/11, the U.S. threatened to bomb Pakistan, "back to the Stone Age."
The plans were cancelled after Pakistan's president pointed out that the U.S. would be bombing his country up to the Stone Age.

Inscribed in stone over the great front doors of an old church being restored was: “This is the Gate of Heaven.” Just below it someone had placed a small cardboard sign which read: “Use Other Entrance.”

People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.

Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone." The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman. Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom."

Q: What is the difference between Clinton's health care plan and a kidney stone?
A: A kidney stone is easier to pass.

The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate: This fire help. Me Groog Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work. You have flint and stone? Ugh You hit them together? Ugh What happen? Fire not work (sigh) Make spark? No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday. *sigh* You change rock? I change nothing You sure? Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't keep Lorto from make fire, right?

The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:
This fire help. Me Groog
Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.
You have flint and stone?
Ugh
You hit them together?
Ugh
What happen?
Fire not work
(sigh) Make spark?
No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.
*sigh* You change rock?
I change nothing
You sure?
Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn't keep Lorto from make fire.
* Grabs club and goes to Lorto's cave *
* WHAM * WHAM * WHAM * WHAM *
from rec.humor.funny.reruns