Stool Jokes / Recent Jokes

A string walks into a bar, hops on the bar stool, and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string hops down from the stool and goes to the next bar. He hops on the bar stool and says, again, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." The string continues down the row of bars in this fashion. At every bar, he hops on the barstool and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." Each time, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." Finally he gets to the last bar in the area. He's tired, he's sweaty, all he wants is a beer. He trudges inside, climbs on the barstool, and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." Pissed off, the string walks outside to think. He's a hard-working string. He deserves a beer. Finally, he comes up with an more...

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home.
At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.
The wife looks aghast and then realisation spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features. "That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home.At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.The wife looks aghast and then realisation spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features. "That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"

One night a little man was sitting on a stool in a bar and a big man walked in and POW! knocked the little man off the stool and said "that was a judo chop from japan" the little man didnt think much of it and got back on the stool but again POW! the big man knocks the little man off the stool and says "that was a karate chop from korea" this time the little man was annoyed so he left the bar. Five minutes later the little man came back and POW! he knocked the big man off the stool and said to the bartender " when he gets up tell him that was a crowbar from sears"

A Captain in the foreign legion was transfered to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sargent leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".
The Sargent replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.
The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sargent replied, more...

A man, obviously quite drunk, enters the front door of a bar, staggers up to a stool, sits down and, with a belch, orders a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he's already had one too many, he would not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could he call a cab for him?
Surprised, the drunk softy scoffs, grumbles, climbs down from the bar stool and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the SIDE door of the bar, wobbles up to the bar and yells for a drink. The bartender approaches him and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses to serve the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. The drunk glares at the bartender, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A couple of minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the BACK door of the bar, climbs up on a stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes more...

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him. The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head. A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He more...