Storm Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it". Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
An old prospector is riding on his mule in the desert, when he's suddenly confronted by a young, drunk and unruly cowboy. The young cowboy tells the prospector to get off the mule, then asks the prospector, "Hey, old-timer - do you know how to dance?" The prospector says, "No, I reckon I don't know how to dance."
So, the young cowboy pulls his six-gun out of its holster and unloads all six rounds right under the prospector's boots. The prospector danced up a storm while the blazing lead kicked up a storm right under his feet. The young, punk cowboy thought it was so funny he fell to the ground in laughter.
The prospector then casually walked over to his mule and pulled out a double-barrel 12-gauge shotgun and walked back behind the mule and lifted its tail straight into the air. He then pointed the shotgun at the cowboy and said, "Young man, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The cowboy replied, "No, Mister Prospector... BUT I'VE ALWAYS more...
One day a man drove by a farm and saw a three-legged pig. The man went up to the farmer and said, "Excuse me sir, but why does that pig only have 3 legs?"
"Well," said the farmer, "that there pig is very special. One time my wife was cooking something she stepped out of the kitchen and it caught on fire. No one in the house knew about it but the pig and he saved me, my wife, and my 2 kids."
"That's amazing sir but why does that pig onlly have three legs?" said the man.
"Then there was that time the pig saw a big storm coming and we didn't. The pig ran into the house and dragged us out to the storm cellar. If it weren't for that pig we would all be dead."
"But still, that doesn't explain why the pig only has 3 legs."
"And I remember the time my youngest son was stuck up in a tree but I was too far away to hear him scream. The pig came running towards me and led me to where he was."
"Well, more...
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
“What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard? ”
“Throw out an anchor, sir, ” the student replied.
“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft? ”
“Throw out another anchor, sir. ”
“And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then? ” asked the captain.
“Throw out another anchor, sir. ”
“Hold on, ” said the captain. “Where are you getting all those anchors from? ”
“From the same place you’re getting your storms, sir. ”
One day a man drove by a farm and saw a three-legged pig. The man went up to the farmer and said, "Excuse me sir, but why does that pig only have 3 legs?""Well," said the farmer, "that there pig is very special. One time my wife was cooking something she stepped out of the kitchen and it caught on fire. No one in the house knew about it but the pig and he saved me, my wife, and my 2 kids.""That's amazing sir but why does that pig onlly have three legs?" said the man."Then there was that time the pig saw a big storm coming and we didn't. The pig ran into the house and dragged us out to the storm cellar. If it weren't for that pig we would all be dead.""But still, that doesn't explain why the pig only has 3 legs.""And I remember the time my youngest son was stuck up in a tree but I was too far away to hear him scream. The pig came running towards me and led me to where he was.""Well, that is miracle but how come more...
This story happened about a month ago in a little town in Louisiana, and sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale.
This guy is on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night passes slowly and no cars come by. The storm is so strong he can see hardly a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he sees a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom. It slowly creeps toward him and stops. Reflexively, the guy gets into the car and closes the door, then realizes that there is nobody behind the wheel. The car slowly starts moving again.
The guy is terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy sees that the car is slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy starts to pray, begging for his life, sure the ghost car will go off the road
and he will plunge to his death when, just before the curve, a hand appears thru the window and turns the steering wheel, guiding the car safely
around the bend.
Paralyzed with terror, more...
A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm.
The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning.
The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and that they are all going to die.
At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims, "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die, let me at least die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like woman?"
She sees a hand raise in the back, and a muscular man starts to walk up to her seat. As he aproaches her, he takes off his shirt.
She can see the man's muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her, "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?"
Eagerly, she shakes her head, Yes!
As the man hands her his shirt, he says, "Here. Iron more...