Stranded Jokes / Recent Jokes

One time there was a blonde a brunette and a redhead stranded in the desert and they all needed to work together to survive.So the redhead goes out and finds food and brings it back. the brunette goes out and brings back water for everybody. And the blonde goes out and brings back a car door. the brunette and the redhead say, "Why did u bring back a car door!?" The blonde answers"Cuz if it gets hot i can roll down the windows!!!

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.... Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you." Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette. Man: "Oh thank you so much!" Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?" Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink. Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!" Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?" Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"

Three blondes were stranded in a desert. As they were walking along one day, they find a magic lamp.They rub it and a magic genie comes out.The genie says he will grant them each one wish. The first blonde says she would like a tree.The genie says are u sure? The blonde replies yes, the genie grants the wish and she goes and sits under it.The second blond says she would like some shade under the tree and the genie says are u sure? She replies yes, the genie grants the wish and she goes to sit with the other blonde.Finally, the third blonde says she would like a car door.The genie says r u sure? she replies yes and the genie says r u positive u want a car door? the blonde replies yes and the wish is granted.The blonde picks up the car door and walks over to the other blondes.They ask, why did u wish for a car door? the blonde replies, duh, so when i get hot...i can role down the window!

A man's car broke down in the middle of the Nullarbor plain (in other words: middle of nowhere). There was not another car in sight, so he started walking...
Three hours later no cars had passed and he was getting very, very thirsty. Just then a man riding a kangaroo bounced up.
"Want to buy a tie?" he asked.
"No! Water - quick, help, water."
"Sorry, I've only got ties." and the man and roo bounded off.
Hours later, the stranded man was still staggering along - desperate now for a drink. Another man (and another kangaroo) bounded up to him.
"Water, help I need water." gasped the stranded man.
"Oh, wouldn't you like to buy a tie?" said the mounted man.
"No! Water - quick, help water!"
"Sorry mate, I can do you with a nice polka dot or a paisley or even a hand painted lady - but can't help with water." and off he went.
The man was crawling now, inch by inch he clambered over the more...

A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries. She says, "Well, what did you do for love?" He says, "Love? What's that?" She says, "I'll show you." She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows himone more time. When they're finally done, she says, "Well, how do you like love?" He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

Three blondes are stranded on an island. A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish. So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army. The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off. The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says," Let's go over the bridge."

Q: You're stranded in a deserted island with Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, and a lawyer. You have a revolver with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice!