Stranded Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were on there way to a party, in the midddle of the desert. Each one of them had something just in case they got stranded. When the red head asked what the brunette had brought she replied apples, just in case we get hungry. Then she asked the red head what she brought, she replied a couple oranges, just in case we get thirsty. Then they both asked the exausted blonde what she brought, she managed to say a car door, just in case we get hot we can roll the window down!!!

There's a man stranded on a desert island and one day a lady gets washed up onto shore. They get to talk and get to know each other. Later on that day the woman asks him' I don't suppose you smoked before you were stranded here did you?' And the man replies,' Yes.' So she produces from her bag a cigarette and they smoke together. A little while later she says to him,' I don't suppose you drank before you were stranded did you?' The man says,' yes.' The woman produces a flask from her bag and they drink. More time passes and the woman says,' So you've been on this island for 10 years without a woman huh?' The man replies' Yes'. The woman says,' I don't suppose you'd like to play around.' The man shouts,' Good God lady, you have a set of clubs in that bag too!'

There was a blonde a brunette and a ginger stranded on an island with no food or water the only water there was, was the deep blue sea in front of them, after a week the ginger started to feel hungry and knowing the mainland was only 20 miles over the sea she decided to smim.So she swam and only managed to get 5 miles until she got eaten by a shark!
A week went on and the brunette started to feel alone even though the blonde was there she also felt very very thirsty and hungry so she decided to jump in and give it ago but only got 10 miles before she drowned and died.
So this leaves the blonde all alone on a stranded island with no food no water and nobody to talk to, so she thinks what have I got to lose its not as if anybody is counting on me so she jumps in the water she manged to get 15 MILES YES 15 MILES until she got tired and decided to swim back!!

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stranded at the grocery store after the brunette accidentally locked the keys in the car.
The redhead suggested they call a locksmith, but the brunette said it would be too expensive. The brunette tried using a coat hanger, but she didn't have any luck.
Suddenly, the blonde shouted, "There's a gas station about five miles down the road. Why don't we drive the car there and ask them to get the keys out for us?!?"

Three people are stranded on a small island. One is a physicist, one is a circus strongman, and one is an economist. After a few days of surviving on fruit, they discover a cache of canned food, and they have to decide how to open it. The physicist says to the strongman "Why don't you climb that tree, and smash the cans down on the rocks, and burst them open?"

The strongman says, "No, that would spatter the stuff all over. I can open the cans with my teeth!"

The economist says "First, we must assume that we have a can opener."

An American hiker stranded in the Bavarian Alps was rescued after getting lumberjacks’ attention by signaling them using her sports bra.

The men rescued her from a ledge after asking her to jump - in place.