Strange Jokes / Recent Jokes

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Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
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Customer: Waiter is this a lamb chops or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter?
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Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a more...

One day, three friends met at an inn after not seeig each other for a very long time. They chatted for an hour or so, and then the topic turned to their wives.
A: You know, something strange happened during my wife's delivery. She was reading a book called "The Two Brothers" before her delivery and she gave birth to 'two' children! Isn't that strange?"
B: Yeah, but you want to know something stranger? A similar thing happened to my wife, when she was pregnant! She was reading the book "Amar, Akbar and Antony", and she gave birth to 'three children' !!!"
On hearing this, the third person C, took to his heels and started running. The other two were puzzled but they ran after C and caught up with him.
A: "Hey C. Why did you run off ?"
C: "My wife's pregnant now and she's reading "Alibaba and the Forty Thieves" !!!"

A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: "When I die, I will dig my way up out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs. There were also strange sounds at all hours. The man was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
One day, he died abruptly under strange circumstances, and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, his wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: "Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? This man practiced black magic and stated that when he died, he would dig his more...

"Doctor," explained the frustrated junior exec, "every night I have the same strange dream. Beautiful girls sneak into my apartment and try to seduce me."
"Well, what do you do?" asked the doctor.
"Nothing. I keep pushing them away."
"And what do you want me to do?"
"Please, doc," pleaded the man, "break my arms."

It's strange, isn't it? Stand in the middle of a library and go "Aaaaaaagghhhh" and everyone just stares at you. But do the same thing on an airplane, everyone joins in.

9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."

8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.

7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt. recreational. catnip.

6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna.

5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "CyberDog."

4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.

3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.

2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.

and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password...

1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.