Strange Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was the doctor's last patient consultation of Christmas Eve. A mother came in with her young daughter and asked if he would examine her because she had been showing some strange symptoms, including a significant increase in weight, sickness most mornings and a number of strange cravings.

He checked her out very carefully and eventually told the mother that her daughter was unquestionably pregnant. At which news she protested very strongly.
'Don't be ridiculous, my daughter has never been with a man'
The girl confirmed that this was true and added that she had never so much as kissed a man.
The doctor studied the girl very carefully, then quietly stood up, walked to the window and stared out of it.
Suspecting the worst the mother asked if there was something wrong.
"No, not really" replied the doctor.' It might just be a coincidence, but the last time this happened a bright star appeared the East.'

Drug Dealers
Software Developers
Refer to their clients as "users".
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
"Download a free trial version..."
Have important Asian connections.
Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon:
"Stick"
"Rock"
"Wrap"
"E"
"Stash"
"Drive-by"
"Hit (LSD)"
"Source"
"The Pigs"
Strange jargon:
"SCSI"
"RTFM"
"Packet"
"C"
"Cache"
"CTRL ALT DEL"
"Hit (WWW)"
"Source-code"
"Microsoft"
Realise that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Realise that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they
want to kill more...

A young lad approaches his father with the question, "What's the difference between fact and theory?" Dad tells the boy that it's difficult to explain but he can demonstrate it to him. He then tells the lad to ask his mother and sister if they would go to bed with a strange man for $500,000. The boy does as instructed and reports back to dad that both mom and sis said they would in fact sleep with a strange man for that amount of money. "Well, there you have it, son," Dad said. "In theory, we're millionaires. Fact is we're living with a couple of sluts."

This really happened. 8-)
A woman with a broken ankle was gingerly hobbling along on crutches
as she attempted to walk her dog. Because of her handicap, however,
she was having a lot of trouble keeping the dog under control.
Finally, the dog lunged forward, the leash slipped out of her
hand, and the dog went running down the street. She called and
called, but the dog wouldn't come back. Since she couldn't chase
after it, she eventually gave up and went home.
A couple of hours later she heard something scratching at the door.
When she went to the door she found her dog standing there with a
dead rabbit in its mouth. Upon closer inspection, she realized it
was the neighbors' pet rabbit. She knew she would never be able
to tell them what happened, and since they were out of town for the
weekend, she hit upon a plan.
She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew
its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit back to the more...

The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating more...

Teacher: What A Pair Of Strange Socks You Are Wearing,
One Is Green And One Is Blue With Red Spots!


Sardar Ji: Yes It’s Really Strange.
I’ve Got Another Pair Of The Same At Home.

425 b.c. Day One
Dear Diary,
First day at sea. Whew! Just made it under the wire. The animals seem
happy, but the lions and tigers are beginning to become restless, and it
was a bad idea to put the rhinos, hippos and elephants on the starboard
side, and the birds, insects, gerbils and hamsters port. Took some work to
"straighten" that one out, har har. Too tired to talk to God tonight. (Get
Him started about the furies of His judgement, and He just goes on and
on...) So, off to bed...
425 b.c. Day Three
Dear Diary,
Rain has stopped, finally, and there's not a whole lot of land left to
see. Saw a whole village's worth of people, all tied together in a pitiful
attempt to save their own lives through common struggle. Sure glad I read
those books about building my own shelter and surviving the Apocalypse; now
if I can figure out what "canned rations" and "ferroconcrete bunkers" mean,
I'll be in more...