Strange Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in.
After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life.
‘I’m fine, ‘ Angus said. ‘But there are some really strange people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time. ’
‘Well, ma laddie, ’ says his mother, ‘I suggest you don’t associate with people like that. ’
‘Oh, ’ says Angus, ‘I don’t, Mam, I don’t. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing my bagpipes. ’

Drug dealers Software developer Refer to their clients Refer to their clients as “users”. as “users”. “The first one’s free! ” “Download a free trial version…” Have important South-East Have important South-East Asian connections Asian connections (to help move the stuff). (to help debug the code). Strange jargon: Strange jargon: “Stick, ” “Rock, ” “SCSI, ” “RTFM, ” “Dime bag, ” “E”. “Java, ” “ISDN”. Realize that there’s Realize that there’s tons of cash in the tons of cash in the 14 to 25 year-old 14 to 25 year-old market. market. Job is assisted by the Job is assisted by industry’s producing industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes. newer, faster machines. Often seen in the company Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. of marketing people and venture capitalists.

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative:He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

The Congress is a strange place where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

The jealous husband returned home from a business trip a day early and, discovering a strange coat in the front closet, stormed into the living room with the accusation that there was another man in the apartment.

"Where is he?" the husband demanded, as he stalked from room to room, searching.

"You're mistaken, dear," the wife insisted. "That coat must have been left by one of your friends the last time you threw a poker party. Since you've been gone, I haven't even looked at another man."

The husband searched through the entire apartment and, finding no one, decided his wife must be telling the truth. Apologizing for his unwarranted display of temper, he then went to the bathroom to wash up. He was running water in the basin when he noticed that the shower curtain was pulled closed. Rather peculiar, he thought. lie ripped the curtain open and-sure enough-there was a strange man. But before the astounded husband could more...

Kenny came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife, who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?", demanded Kenny, "And what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."
Kenny was stunned. "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away."
St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Kenny was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around more...

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car.
As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man says, "All right, all right. I'm *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become more...