Stripper Jokes

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League,honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob and starts to rub herself all over him and says,"Hi Bobbie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots more...

So I recently saw an ad for a strip club. It said, "We do parties! Birthday parties, Bachelor Parties, and Divorce Parties!" Huh. After a divorce, do you really want to give more money to a woman who'll never have sex with you?

Dear Diablo Cody, I would like to thank you personally for your movie "Juno." Finally I can justify my V.I.P. lap dances at the many strip clubs across America as an investment and tax write off. I am sure I have invested in a movie or two.

Thanks Ex-ho!

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? ***** Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. .. it's how drunk you get. ***** Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. ***** It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. ***** Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... magical animal. ***** Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or a sleazy male stripper? Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren? Marge: Earl Warren was never a stripper! Homer: Oh, now who's being naive? ***** Homer: But every time I more...

A 36-year old Wisconsin dancer who stripped in front of her children in a drunken attempt to avoid a shoplifting arrest is going to jail. Prosecutors say the woman stole beef jerky and a lighter from a continence store in October. They say when police went to her home she began screaming at the three children and told a teenager it was his fault. She then stripped to her underwear and told officers they couldn’t arrest her because she would be naked soon. Who says strippers aren’t smart.