Strokes Jokes

A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneafternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for thehorse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog'sfate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy willbe burned at the stake the following sunrise. That evening theIndian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish, within reason, before meeting his ultimate fate the thefollowing morning. The cowboy tells the chief that his lastrequest is to see his faithful dog, Rex. When the dog is broughtby the Indians the cowboy strokes and pets his companion andwhispers something into his ear. At once the dog bounds and runsthrough the Indian village and over the hill. This does notparticularly distress the Indians as they didn't really know whatto do with the dog anyway.At about 8 o'clock that evening the dog returns accompanied bysome two dozen hookers from the closest town. Needless to say thebraves were delighted at the prospect of an more...

Finally, the game of golf is beginning to make sense:
These rules of golf are for good players whose scores would reflect their true ability, if only they got an even break once in awhile. They were adapted from those proposed by the Union Printers Golf Club in Baltimore and have some appealing provisions:
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled in the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball, and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the ball resulting from such uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably from more...

Admission Of Women To Golf Club Skyline Golf Club Memo to all members! Re: The admission of women to the club. Since the admission of women to the club, members are asked to obey the following rules. 1. Ladies are prohibited from touching the gentlemen's balls either with hands or club. 2. Players are requested to remain silent during the short strokes. 3. All players with partners are requested to come together. When the lady partner comes first, the gentleman must not delay his strokes but continue playing. 4. In cases where a long position is impossible, the players may so choose a new position. 5. Players deciding on a new lay must start at least a club's length from the hole. 6. Members are requested to stay out of any hole, showing signs of recent repair or undergoing monthly overhaul until the red flag has been lifted. 7. All holes must be kept clean at all times. 8. Members are also urged to use reasonable precautions at all times as the Management cannot be held responsible more...

A cowboy along with his horse and dog are captured late oneafternoon by hostile Indians. This presents no problem for thehorse as the Indians can always use another pony. The dog'sfate is some what tenuous but it is certain that the cowboy willbe burned at the stake the following sunrise. That evening theIndian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish, within reason, before meeting his ultimate fate the thefollowing morning. The cowboy tells the chief that his lastrequest is to see his faithful dog, Rex. When the dog is broughtby the Indians the cowboy strokes and pets his companion andwhispers something into his ear. At once the dog bounds and runsthrough the Indian village and over the hill. This does notparticularly distress the Indians as they didn't really know whatto do with the dog anyway. At about 8 o'clock that evening the dog returns accompanied bysome two dozen hookers from the closest town. Needless to say thebraves were delighted at the prospect of an more...

Scientists have determined that the average time of intercourse lasts 4 minutes. The average number of strokes is 9 per minute, making the average intercourse 36 strokes long. Since the average length of a penis is about 6 inches, the average girl receives 216 inches of penis or 18 feet of penis per intercourse.
If the average girl does it 3 times a week, (that makes 156 times annually) 156 x 18 feet of penis makes 2808 feet, or just over a half mile of penis per year.
If a girl starts having sex at 16, and since the average life span of a woman is 75, you could say that you could be getting 2808 feet of penis x 59 years of sex makes 165,672 feet, or 55,224 yards, or a little over 31 miles of penis in your lifetime.
Anyone whose getting more than that, well, yer just a big ol slut.