Stronger Jokes

A is the Artful word he uses.
B is the Blush as she gently refuses.
C is the Creep of his hand up her legs.
D is the Don't as she pleadingly begs.
E is the Excitement as his hand goes higher.
F is the Feeling of ticklish desire.
G is the Gasp as her quim, he touches.
H is the Helplessness she feels in his clutches.
I is the Itching which makes her feel hot.
J is the Jump as the spot, he touches.
K is the Kiss with which she rewards him.
L is the Love which she now feels towards him.
M is the Move which they make for the bed.
N is the Nice way her legs are outspread.
O is the Opening now fully revealed.
P is the Pen with nib fully pealed.
Q is the Queerness she feels when it is in.
R is the Rubbing that's now to begin.
S is the Strokes getting stronger and stronger.
T is the Tickling she wishes would last longer.
U is the Unction now freely flowing.
V is the Vigour with which they are moving.
W is more...

New, from Mattel...!
[ANNOUNCER]
New MIGHTY-MORPHIN'-JESUS action figures!
With realistic healing and smiting action!
[VOICE OVER]
[child #1]
"Aaannggg... Oh no! G.I. Joe is hit... Cobra leader is
getting away!"
[whirring sound... Mighty-Morphin-Jesus' eyes light and head spins]
[child #1 in Jesus voice]
"You are healed my son... now go forth and kick some ass."
[child #2 in G.I. Joe voice]
"Thanks J-man., Let's go Joes!"
[ANNOUNCER]
Now you're in control... fight the forces of evil with new
Mighty-Morphin-Jesus the action figure.
[Action shot of Jesus figure and He-Man battling Skeletor]
He's back from the dead and he's pissed.
[VOICE OVER]
[child #2 in Skeletor voice]
"So Jesus, we meet again... will you never learn that evil
is stronger than good?"
[child #1 in Jesus voice]
"That may be, my unholy friend, but I know something even more...

What is stronger an elephant or a snail? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

A ship wrecks somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and the lone survior is washed up on a desert island. After surveying his surroundings he determines that the only other signs of life are one pig and one dog.
The man learns to live off of the island. He has fresh water from a spring and fruits grow abundantly. However, as the months go on, his sexual urges become stronger and stronger. Finally, in complete sexual hysteria, he grabs the pig and has his way with it. For some reason, however, the dog jumps up and bites him in the ass.
Weeks go by, and every day the man screws the pig and the dog bites him in the ass. One day, a beautiful young woman washes up on the shore. The man performs CPR and brings her back to life. She is so happy she says, "Thank you so much! I will give you anything you want!"
"Anything?" the man says.
"Anything." the woman replies.
"OK," he says, "will you hold the dog?"

There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy.