Student Jokes / Recent Jokes

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said, "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for that of Suzuki, who had his handup. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!"
Who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country and knows more about its history than you do."
She then heard a loud whisper. "Darn Japanese."
"Who said that?", she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Suzuki's classroom superiority, a more...

(True story)

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, Toshiba, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history." Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, more...

Once A Student Forgot His Science Book. His Teacher Asked Him "Where Is Your Science Book" He Said "Sir I Forgot It" His Teacher Said In Anger "Why Didnt You Forget Yourself As Well". The Student Answered "Sir Actually I Forgot That Too But Sad To Say My Mother Reminded Me".

Teacher: ‘A’ for?
Student: Apple! !!
Teacher: Jor se bolo…
Student: JAI MATA DI

Q: Did you hear about the new ice cream for monsters?
A: It's called "Cookies and Scream."
Q: What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?
A: A ghoul Yule!
Q: Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?
A: At the Howliday Inn!
Q: Where does the Wolfman live?
A: In a werehouse!
Q: How do zombies celebrate Halloween?
A: They paint the town dead!
Q: What oinks amd drinks blood?
A: A hampire!
Q: Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?
A: That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!
Q: What's orange on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: A pumpkin in a plastic bag!
Q: What does a vampire take for a cold?
A: Coffin syrup!
Q: Where do ghost ships like to cruise?
A: In the Scare-ibbean Sea!
Q: What European capital has the most ghosts?
A: Boodapest!
Q: What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?
A: Hallowieners!
Q: What is a more...

An engineering student is walking along when a fellow student arrives on a new bicycle. Impressed, he asks, "Where did you got this beautiful bicycle?"

"Well," the second engineering student says, "A couple of days ago I was just walking along when this georgeous blonde pulls up, hops off the bike, rips off all her clothes, and says' take what you want'."

The other engineering student nods and says "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."