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The story behind this joke:... There's this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds. The really weird thing about these letters is that this guy really exists and does this in his spare time! Paleoanthropology DivisionSmithsonian Institute207 Pennsylvania AvenueWashington, DC 20078Dear Sir: Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago. "Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu more...
Teacher to student: "I just read the composition on 'My House' that you had submitted."
Student:"Yes, is there anything wrong?"
Teacher:"No. It was excellent. It was exactly the same composition that your older brother submitted last year."
Student: "Well..we live in the same house..."
In the City of Istanbul, the Council authrorised Mayor Cornelius to receive tenders and award a contract to erect a fountain.
Tenderer Ricaldo submitted a tender for $3000. The breakdown being; $1000 for labour, $1000 for materials and $ 1000 profit.
Almeida submitted a tender for $6000. Labour $2000, Material $2000 and profit $2000.
Fernando submitted a tender for $9000. $3000 for tenderer Fernando as profit. $3000 for mayor Cornelius for the trouble. $3000 for tenderer - Ricaldo to erect the fountain.
Fernado, of course got the contract.
Playgirl Rejection LetterNovember 30, 1995PLAYGIRL, INC. Dear Mrs. Smith, We wish to thank you for your letter and the polaroid pictureof your husband. We agree that his appearance in our March issue asthe Playgirl's "Man of the Month" centerfold would have been a truly fitting way for you to honor your 75th anniversary of wedded bliss, and as a life-time memento on his birthday. We submitted the picture to our various panels of judges, asit is our routine procedure, with the following results: When rated by our panel of average American women (ages 25 to40) on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), his body was rateda -2. To further justify our ratings, we submitted your photographto another panel of women in the age bracket of 45 to 100. We couldn'tget them to stop laughing long enough to take the time to rate him. The old American women panel, aged 70 to 100, widowed for over twenty years, said "We'll retain our widowed status!" The Organization of Nude more...
What will happen if the Government of India decides to become a commercial film financier, say of' Mahabharat'? Read on.... Government of India Ministry of Human Resources Development Department of Culture Films Division No. B1452/234/2003 Dt. 15. 5. 03To: Shri. B. R. Chopra, Film Director, Mumbai Ref: Your letter dt. 2. 12. 90 regarding financing of films by Govt ofIndia -story submitted by you - namely,' Mahabharat' The undersigned is directed to refer the above letter and state that the Government has examined your proposal for financing a filmCalled' 'Mahabharat'. The Very High Level Committee constituted for this purpose has been in consultation with the Human Rights Commission, National Commission for Women and Labour Commission, in addition to various Ministries and State Governments, and have formed definitive opinionsAbout the script. Their observations are as below: 1. In the script submitted by you it was shown that there were two setsof cousins, namely, the Kauravas more...