Submitted Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many light bulb jokes does it take to change a light bulb joke?
A: Hmmmm - the probability that a given light bulb joke will be submitted to the net in any given week is. 4, and the probability that it will have changed detectably since the last transmission is. 2. Hence (assuming independence, which is reasonable since no submitter of a light bulb joke ever seems to know it has been submitted before, within the last 2 or 3 weeks), the probability that it will change in a given week is. 08. So it takes about 12. 5 light bulb jokes to change a light bulb joke.
A: One.
Q: How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Q: How many members of the royal family does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: "Actually none. As your queen I would like to reassure the people of the commonwealth that while our family may have had our Annus Horribilis and while some of us may have screwed in the stables or in the mud, none of us, to my knowledge, more...
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Pencil with #1~= User is a Level more...
Q: How many light bulb jokes does it take to change a light bulb joke?
A: Hmmmm - the probability that a given light bulb joke will be submitted to the net in any given week is .4, and the probability that it will have changed detectably since the last transmission is .2. Hence (assuming independence, which is reasonable since no submitter of a light bulb joke ever seems to know it has been submitted before, within the last 2 or 3 weeks), the probability that it will change in a given week is .08. So it takes about 12.5 light bulb jokes to change a light bulb joke.
Playgirl Rejection LetterNovember 30, 1995PLAYGIRL, INC.Dear Mrs. Smith, We wish to thank you for your letter and the polaroid pictureof your husband. We agree that his appearance in our March issue asthe Playgirl's "Man of the Month" centerfold would have been a truly fitting way for you to honor your 75th anniversary of wedded bliss, and as a life-time memento on his birthday. We submitted the picture to our various panels of judges, asit is our routine procedure, with the following results: When rated by our panel of average American women (ages 25 to40) on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), his body was rateda -2. To further justify our ratings, we submitted your photographto another panel of women in the age bracket of 45 to 100. We couldn'tget them to stop laughing long enough to take the time to rate him. The old American women panel, aged 70 to 100, widowed for over twenty years, said "We'll retain our widowed status!" The Organization of Nude more...
CITY TV
(submitted by THIBAHARAN)
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YOUR SO FAT YOU WERE ON CITY TV EVERYWHER.
FART
(submitted by POOP)
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Why did the poop cross the road? Because he smelled!!! HaHaHaHaHa
CHICKEN JOKE
(submitted by Rukshan )
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Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck on the bottom of the chickens foot
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He was stuck on the elephants foot.
Q: Why did Rookie cross the road?
A: He was fucking the elephant.
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...probably one of the best...
Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
"211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid
skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed
examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your
theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of
Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it
appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of
the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to
be the "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great
deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be
quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior
work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with more...