Subtitles Jokes

Chinese SubtitlesFrom a list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong, Compiledby Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins for their book *Sex & Zen & a Bullet inthe Head*, to be published in August by Fireside. Cited in Harper's, June1996.I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.Gun wounds again? Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! You daring lousy guy.Beat him out of recognizable shape! I have been scared shitless too much lately.I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair! Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.How can you use my intestines as a gift? The bullets inside are very hot. Why more...

The following are actual English subtitles used in films from Hong Kong:*I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
*Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
*Gun wounds again?
*Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
*A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
*Darn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken.
*Take my advice, or I'll spank you a lot.
*Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
*Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
*I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
*You daring lousy guy.
*Beat him out of recognizable shape!
*Yah-hah, evil spider woman! i have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your doctor for a thorough examination.
*I have been scared silly too much lately.
*I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
*Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
*The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
*How can you use my intestines more...

Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies -------------------------------------


1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.


2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep.


3. Gun wounds again?


4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.


5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.


6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!


7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.


8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?


9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.


10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.


11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!


12. You daring lousy guy.


13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!


14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately.


15. I got knife scars more than the number of more...

Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies -------------------------------------1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3. Gun wounds again? 4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. 6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! 7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. 8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? 9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. 10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. 11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! 12. You daring lousy guy. 13. Beat him out of recognizable shape! 14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately. 15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair! 16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. 17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold? 18. How can you use my intestines as a gift? 19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will more...

From a list of English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong, Compiled by Stefan Hammond and Mike Wilkins for their book *Sex & Zen & a Bullet in the Head*, to be published in August by Fireside. Cited in Harper's, June 1996. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. Gun wounds again? Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! You daring lousy guy. Beat him out of recognizable shape! I have been scared shitless too much lately. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair! Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. How can you use my intestines as a gift? The bullets inside are very hot. Why do more...