Suck Jokes / Recent Jokes
1.) That in school, getting a zero for a grade seems better than getting a 20 or a 30.
2.) That when you are hungry, you look in the refrigerator constantly, even though you know there's nothing to eat in there.
3.) That ketchup has TONS of sugar? What's up with that?
4.) That when you vacuum and there's a piece of lint or something on the floor that's too big to suck up with the vacuum cleaner, instead of picking it up, you just sit there rolling the vacuum over and over it hoping it will suck it up??
5.) That when you think of something funny and someone else says,"What's so funny?" You say,"It's a long story" when really it isn't?
One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer.
The teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"
Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp honey, I wanna suck."
there was three flys in a jar 2 female 1 male the one of the females ask the male how do we get out of here the male said suck my dick and I will tell you so she did he told her fly to the top as fast as you can so she did and she broke her neck and fell down and died the other female asked the same question did the same thing and died the same way
the male got tired of being in there with two dead girls and got out
now ask how he got out and scroll down
suck my dick and I will tell you
10 Things That Suck About Being A Guy
1. You have to take out the garbage.
2. The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
3. No sofas in your restrooms.
4. External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
5. Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're
not allowed to cry.
6. James Bond movies only come out every two years.
7. Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
8. You have to wear ties.
9. You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
10. "Women and children first"
This guy is sitting at a bar having a few wobbly-pops and suddenly gets this feeling that he has to go make an urgent call to the potty. So he goes into the bathroom and sees this really short guy taking a piss. He takes the stall next to this short guy, and while taking a piss the guy happens to look over at the little guy and by accident sees his dick. He just can't help saying to the guy "man that is a big dick! I wish that I had a dick that big!"
"Well" says the little guy," I'm leprechaun and I can grant you one wish, and all you have to do is suck on me wang!"
In horror of the thought the man exclaims, "I don't think so you little faggot, even for a dick that size!"
"Fine then" says the leprechaun.
But after a minute of thinking the man says "Alright I'll do it." So the man starts to suck the leprechaun's dick and when he is finished he says "I can't believe that I am going to have a dick that more...
Here is some random advice to make you smile...
MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips.
The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile...
If you have sex 365 times a year, and if you melted down all of the condoms to make a tire, what would you call it? A fuckin Goodyear!
Sex is like playing spades. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Big Bad Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood to lift her top so he could suck her tits. "No," she said while lifting her skirt, "Eat me like the fuckin book says!"
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The rooster exclaimed, "A wet pussy always makes a cock happy!"
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.