Suck Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, Little Johnny's teacher asked the class "Children, who can answer this question, please raise your hand!"
"Mention things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, mam!" Little Jane answered.
"Good, Jane." the teacher said, "Anyone else?"
"It's a lollipop!" said Little Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!" the teacher said.
Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "I think it's lamp!"
The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Johnny's answer. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, how do you think we can suck lamp?"
"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Johnny said, "I heard my mom said, please turn off the lamp, honey, and let me suck it!"
One night these two men wanted to go out for drinks, but they didn't have any money. so the first man said, "No problem. I have an idea"
So the two proceeded to the closest bar and ordered their drinks. the second man asks, "Now what's your plan?"
The first man said, "I'm gonna put this hot dog down my pants and then you unzip me and suck the hot dog. then the two would for sure be thrown out of the bar."
The second man was unsure but agreed. as soon as the bill came he dropped to his knees and began to suck. His plan worked. the two were quickly thrown out of the bar. they proceeded to do this in bars all over town without ever having to pay.
Finally the second man said, "Man, I'm drunk enough. That was a good plan."
The first man said yea but I lost the hot dog three doors back.."
Yo Mama is so short she can suck my dick standing up!
a regular vampire: i want to suck your blood
a gay vampire: i want to suck ur balls
10 Fucking Limericks
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was a young man from Belgrave,
Who found a dead whore in a cave.
It must have taken pluck,
to have a cold fuck;
But think of the money he saved!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There once was a man from Racine
who'd invented a fucking machine.
Concave or convex,
it fit either sex,
but boy, was it a bitch to keep clean.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There was an old man of more...
this guy said hello to a guy sating at the bar.
the guy sating at the bar said hi how are you.
the first guy says i am doing fine.
the second guy says do you like men because i do.
the first guy says yes do you want to have sex with me.
yes said the guy
how long is your dick mine is 100inches long.
mine is 200inches long how round is yours mine is 900inches around
mine is 1000inches around
lets start to have sex right here but you suck and i fuck you in the ass!!!
ok unzip your pants take off your boxers
and rip off the rest. you rip off everyhting
and i will stike my dick in your ass. then you suck as hard as you can.
ok replied the guy own lee if you do it really really really hard to me. ok said the man. then lets go at it .i love you.