Suck Jokes / Recent Jokes
You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When...
1.) You haven't slept since the Clinton Administration.
2.) Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
3.) Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.
4.) You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso."
5.) On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.
6.) You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers.
7.) You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"
8.) When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
9.) You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears.
10.) You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.
11.) You think sleep is for the weak.
12.) You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, more...
there are three flys in a jar two girls one boy one of the girls get tired of being in a jar so she asked the male how do we get out he said suck my dick and ill tell you so she did he told her to fly up to the top as fast as she could so she did and she broke her neck same with the other one and the boy got out.
ask how
suck my dick and ill tell you
A man walks into the bar with his wife. After a few drinks, he goes and uses the pisser. as soon as he wlked in their, a man walked up and said to her,
"man babby you got some nice tits i want to suck on them"
the women looking horified looked at him and said
"are you talking to me"? The man then said
"man babby you got a nice ass, i want to lick that shit".
the women says
"my husband is in the bathroom and he is going to kick your ass".
the man says
"man babby you got a nice pussy i want to tip you over and drink beer from that shit"
The women gets up ready to slap the man. as soon as he sees her husband walking up the man takes off. Her husband asks,
"whats wrong hunny"?
the women replies,
"Youll never believe it, this man just came up and said that he wanted to suck on my titties"
The man looks around and says,
"where is this guy"
The women more...
Yo mama so slutty, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
HEY SON WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ASKED DAD
IME JUST PLAYING? SAID SON
PLAYING WITH WHAT? ASKED DAD
IME PLAYING WITH MY PENIS? SAID SON
WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS? ASKED DAD
JUST MASTRUBATING.SAID SON
CAN I JOIN IN? ASKED DAD
WHAT CAN YOU DO? ASKED SON
I CAN SUCK IT? SAID DAD
SURE I HAVE MY NAKED FRIENDS WITH ME SAID THE 13 YEAR OLD SON
NO PROBLEM, I CAN SUCK ALL OF YOUR COCKS.SAID DAD
HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE ASKED DAD?
JUST 12 FRIENDS SAID SON
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has more...