Sudden Jokes / Recent Jokes
A BLONDE, BRUNETTE, AND A RED HEAD..WERE STANDED ON A DESSERTED ISLAND...THEY WERE WALKING AND WALKING AND WALKING AND SO ON... THE RED HEAD FINDS A BOTTLE AND THERE WAS AN INSCRIPTION ON IT BUT IT WAS COVERED IN SAND SO SHE RUBS IT OFF ALL OF A SUDDEN A SUDDEN MIST OF SMOKE COMES OUT FOLLOWED BY A GENIE..."WOW" THE RED HEAD EXCLAIMS...THE GENIE SAYS,"NOW NORMALLY I WOULD GRANT THE PERSON THAT LET ME OUT OF THAT GOD FORSAKEN BOTTLE 3 WISHES, BUT SINCE THERE ARE 3 OF YOU IT WOULD ONLY BE FARE IF I GRANTED EACH OF YOU A WISH" THE 3 GIRLS AGREED SO THE GEENIE ASKED THE RED HEAD WHAT IS YOUR WISH? THE RED HEAD REPLIES "I WISH I WAS AT HOME WITH MY FAMILY" POOF! SHE WAS HOME..SO THE GEENIE ASKS THE BRUNETTE WHAT IS YOUR WISH? I WISH I WAS AT HOME WITH MY FAMILY..POOF! SHE WAS HOME..THE GEENIE THEN TURNS TO THE BLONDE AND ASKS WHAT HER WISH IS? SHE RELPLIES.."I AM NOW ALL ALONE,"SO WHAT IS YOUR WISH THE GEENIE ASKS?," I WISH MY FRIENDS WERE BACK! more...
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die some day," the leader of the
discussion said, "and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment."What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?" the leader asked the group."For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives," one gentleman said."A very admirable thing to do," said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do."For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater
conviction," one lady said, more...
A quite man was sitting at a sports bar minding his own business when all of a sudden a big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- Knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.
The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the bar stool again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! --
The big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."
So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves.
The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned.
Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!!" -- Knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!!
The little guy looks at the waitress and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a SLUGGER from LOUISVILLE.
An unmarried Rabbi is on an empty train when a sexy, beautiful woman walks into his empty carriage, carrying a foot long, BLT, Subway sandwich and proceeds to sit down opposite him.
After twenty minutes of emabarrasingly trying to avoid looking at the sexy woman opposite the train comes to a sudden halt and a voice comes over the speakers explaining that the Five Minute Warning has just gone off and that soon the UK will be under nuclear attack.
Shocked at this dreadful and sudden news the Rabbi's thoughts quickly turn to the fact that he will probably be dead within the next five minutes. However instead of taking comfort from his faith and religious training he begins to consider all the things he never did and all the experiences he missed out on due to the religious life he chose to lead.
He quickly realises that he is going to die a virgin too, as he is quite a young Rabbi and he never married. Feeling close to despair at this thought and all the other opportunities more...
There was a little guy in a bar drinking his beer, when all of a sudden a big guy comes and knocks him off his stool and says "that was a karate chop from Japan"
The little guy get's back up on his stool again and start's to drink his beer again, when all of a sudden the big guy knock's him of his stool again, and says that was a karate kick from China,
So the little guy get's back up and leave's for a moment then come's back in and goes up to the big guy hits him and knock's him off of his stool out cold... he then, tell's the bartender "when he gets up to ask me, that was a crowbar from Sears"
Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes.
The personnel manager next interview them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do?
About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.
"I know, I more...
Two hunters are roaming through the woods when all of a sudden one of them grabs his throat and dies. The other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator "my friend just grabbed his throat and died!" "okay okay, calm down" replied the operator "go over to him fist and make sure that he is actually dead" "okay" replies the hunter. The phone goes silent, than a sudden bang from a gun is heard. "okay" says the hunter "now what?