Sudden Jokes / Recent Jokes

Zek and Luke went to a trucking company to apply for a "Team" truck driving job. The personnel manager decided, after talking to them both that they weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. He decides to interview them separately. He first interviews Zek. After 15 minutes he completes the interview. Zek barely passes. Next he interviews Luke. He begins by asking the usual transportation related questions. Luke also barely passes.
The personnel manager next interview them together. He presents them with this potential problem: Now Zek and Luke, lets say that you two are a driving team. One of you is driving the rig and the other is asleep in the back. You are going down this very steep hill with sixty thousand pounds of steel on the truck. All of a sudden your breaks go out and your speed is increasing. What would be the first thing you'd do?
About a minute passes and there was no answer. Then, all of a sudden Luke spoke up.
"I know, I know, I know the more...

There was a macho type of guy who went to the hardware store and bought a leather tool belt and a lot of tools to go with it. Like any good tool belt it weighed about 100 lbs when fully decked out.
The fella decided to take the belt out for a spin and was working out in his yard when all of a sudden the tool belt ended up around his ankles taking his pants with it. So here is our guy all of a sudden mooning the world bare-assed naked in his back yard.
All of a sudden there is a tremendous clap of thunder and a lightning bolt came down out of the heavens and carved a perfect 5 on each cheek of his posterior. The fella was very excited, but not nearly as excited as his wife who decided that this was a sign from above and proceeded to put their life savings into lottery tickets betting on the number 55.
That evening the drawing was held and you can imagine their excitment when the first number drawn was a 5. Immediately thereafter the last two numbers came out... 0... 5. more...

Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
He actually *does* have your tongue.
You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.
Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?"
Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
You find blueprints for a Rube Goldgerg device that starts with a mouse chased into a hole and ends with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on your doorstep.
Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
You find a piece of paper labelled "MY WIL" which more...

There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there was a down pour of thunder and rain, these two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.
All of a sudden an old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly on the window! The passenger screamed out, "eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!?) This old man kept knocking, so the driver said "well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"
So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???"
The old man softly replied, "you have any tobacco?"
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!"
"Well offer him a more...

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.
The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.
The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the more...

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The more...

WANKY PANKY
- fooling around, naughtier than hanky panky
THRUSTER BUSTER
- a sudden noise that interrupts the act of sex, especially a doorbell, the sound of a spouse's car in the driveway or the shrill voice of an unexpected parent
RUBBER FLUBBER
- sudden realization that the condom has broken
BOOBIE LUBEY
- stimulation of a female's breasts to arouse sexual interest
DICKIE LICKIE
- oral stimulation of the male's private parts
TUSHIE PUSHIE
- doggie-style sexual intercourse
PECKER WRECKER
- oral sex given to a man by a female wearing braces on her teeth
FUCKIE SUCKIE
- oral sex and sexual intercourse both
STINKIE PINKIE
- the result of sexual stimulation of the female's private parts by the male's hands
HUMMER CUMMER
- I think you can figure out this one all by yourself!