Sues Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Apple Corporation Sues Itself.[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads, Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computers Corporation. The company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own machines which has helped to make the company famous.An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. more...

Here are a few things that could happen: Mohini Devi, a housewife from Bihar sues PM for 1 Crore Rupees for sexually molesting her. She alleges that during his election campaign in Punjab he made overtures and advances of indecent nature - he kept saying "Hame karna hai!" Reports say she is open to an out of the court settlement. J H Patel says India should reduce the number of visas issued to' aliens'. Demands cut in the number of American engineers being admitted into the country says the whites ('Caucasian-Indians') are' stealing' away the local jobs. Sports: Bombay' Bombers' beat Madras' Sambars' 3 - 0 in a 5 game cricket tournament. Sachin Tendulkar says he wont be playing for Bombers from next season, as the Bihar' Lalloos' have offered him 50 lakh more to play for them. Tonight on Zee TV: Kabaddi world series live! over 4 countries from around the world participating in his fast-becoming popular sport. Last time - runner ups Germany looking to beat current champions more...

Another organically grown entry for rec.humus. Only natural punchlines
are used in my jokes, and no antibiotics now that the infection has gone
down.
Apple Corporation Sues Itself.
[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads,
Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computer, Inc. The
company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own
machines which has helped to make the company famous.
An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our
copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the
exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses
the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson
says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and
Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.
Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure
sign more...

Here are a few things that could happen:
Mohini Devi, a housewife from Bihar sues PM for 1 Crore Rupees for sexually molesting her. She alleges that during his election campaign in Punjab he made overtures and advances of indecent nature - he kept saying "Hame karna hai!" Reports say she is open to an out of the court settlement.
J H Patel says India should reduce the number of visas issued to' aliens'. Demands cut in the number of American engineers being admitted into the country says the whites ('Caucasian-Indians') are' stealing' away the local jobs.
Sports: Bombay' Bombers' beat Madras' Sambars' 3 - 0 in a 5 game cricket tournament. Sachin Tendulkar says he wont be playing for Bombers from next season, as the Bihar' Lalloos' have offered him 50 lakh more to play for them.
Tonight on Zee TV: Kabaddi world series live! over 4 countries from around the world participating in his fast-becoming popular sport. Last time - runner ups Germany looking to beat more...

BUSH LEGAL TEAM SUES SANTA CLAUS By S. Artist Reuters AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh. The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification." "There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It`s totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking over and over more...