Sugar Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads. He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room. Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?" Again Joe thought this was good stuff. Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
and so are you
But the roses are wiltered
the violets are dead
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head!

What's that drink you're mixing?" the stranger asked the bartender in the exotic Caribbean bar.
"I call this a rum dandy," said the bartender.
"What's in it?" asked the stranger.
"Sugar, milk and rum," said the barkeep.
"Is it good?" asked the stranger.
"Sure," said the bartender. "The sugar gives you pep, the milk gives you energy."
"And the rum?" asked the stranger.
"Ideas about what to do with all that pep and energy."

Husband To Wife: Bring Me A Cup Of Tea
Wife: With Pleasure
Husband: No, With Milk And Sugar.

A proprietor very keen on obtaining the maximum from the customer, had drilled his
sales staff not to turn away any customer, but to try to entice them with a similar option -
like he said - if they require rose brand sugar and we don't have the stocks offer them
elephant brand sugar etc etc.
Well a nervous young salesman eager to show off how effective a job he could do, met his first customer that day - an old lady who hobbled in. He greeted her with a cherry good morning and she stated that she required toilet paper.( A luxury which was not freely available or well known during this period.)
The salesman said sadly "Mam I am sorry I cannot give you toilet paper as we have run
out of stocks, but could I offer you instead a good quality tissue paper?"
The old lady thinking the man was trying to be fresh gave him a nasty look and
said No No thank you.
The salesman not wanting to be beaten then offered her some carbon paper - in more...

Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?"
Again Joe thought this was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."