Sunday Jokes / Recent Jokes

This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached ten minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only twenty minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!

The preacher's wife was making Sunday dinner, when the preacher walked in the house and says "that ham smells wonderful." His wife replies "That's a Dam-Ham." The preacher was surprised by his wife's use of profanity. She showed him the wrapper and explained that was the brand name of the ham. They sat down for dinner and the preacher says to his son, "Son, pass me the dam-ham." and his son replies, "that's the spirit, Pop, now pass me the fucking potatoes"

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the son comes across the condoms and asks his father what they are. The dad replies, "Well son, those are condoms and they're for protection when you're having sex."
The son then picks up one of the packs and asks why it has three in it. The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
The son then picks up one with six condoms asks, "Why six?"
The dad replies, "Well son, those are for college men. Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday."
The son then notices the 12 pack of condoms and asks the same question.
The dad replies, "Son, those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March...."

One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was very good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9.30 okay?"George said, "Fine, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."The following Sunday George showed up right on time. Not only that he played left-handed and beat them.They agreed to meet the following Sunday at 9.30. George again said, "Okay, but I may be about ten minutes late. Wait for me."The next Sunday there was George, punctual to the dot. This time he played right-handed and beat them again. "Okay, for 9.30 next Sunday?" one of the foursome asked.George said, "Sure if I'm ten minutes late?"Another golfer jumped in. "Wait a minute? You always say you may be ten minutes late. But you're always right on time and you beat us whether you play right or left handed."George said, "Well, that's true - I'm superstitious. If I wake up more...

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents. As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, "I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered: "Thou shall not kill."