Superior Jokes / Recent Jokes
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help."The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. You must make them stop cursing so much.", said the nun."Very well, sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman. Mother superior then observed, "I think the term they actually use is' fucking shovel'".
One day a little boy and a little girl are outside playing together and they get into an argument.
The little boy holds up an army man and says " I bet you don't have one of these!"
The little girl finds her army man and holds it up "Yes I do!" she says in a superior tone.
The little boy looks through his toys and holds up a dump truck and says "Well I bet you don't have one of these!"
Once again the little girl looks through her toys and finds a dump truck and holds it up and says "Oh yes I do!" in a superior tone.
The little boy is starting to get mad so he looks through his toys and finally finds a cap gun. He holds it up and yells "Well I bet you don't have one of these!"
The little girl finds her cap gun and holds it up "Oh yes I do!" in a very snooty voice.
At this point the little boy has had it so he stands up and whips his pants down to his knees and points to his crotch and proclaims more...
A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: "Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwin came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates."
"BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help." The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. You must make them stop cursing so much.", said the nun." Very well, sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman. Mother superior then observed, "I think the term they actually use is' fucking shovel'".
The marriage ceremony
Four young novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel where the Mother Superior was waiting to perform the ceremony to marry them to Jesus. Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Chassidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards, carrying siddurs, came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honoured that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"
One of the four Jews replied, "We`re from the groom`s side."
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior
was that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door,
strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there was a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" called one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replied a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug,
deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room; they open the door. "Nice boobs," said the man. "Where do you want these blinds?"
Why do men think they`re so superior if they have to become men while women just are?