Superior Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting withher young charges and she asked them what they wanted to bewhen they grew up. A twelve-year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute." The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When theyrevived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped,"What did you say?" The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute." "A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said, "Oh, praise sweetJesus! And I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."

Mother superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired of Chardonnay..."

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession: "Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he saidthat he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates." "BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."

Two nuns walk into a liqueur store and ask the man at the counter for a bottle of Blackberry Brandy. The clerk tells the nuns that he knows they are not suppose to drink alcohol and he cannot sell them the bottle.
One of the nuns said "It's okay. It's for the Mother Superior. You see, she's constipated." So the clerk sells them the brandy.
After locking up the store at closing time, the clerk walks down the street and sees the two nuns are falling down drunk.
The clerk says "Sisters, you lied to me. You said that was for Mother Superior's constipation."
The nun replies "It is. When she see us, she's going to SHIT."

Why do men think they're so superior if they have to become men while women just are?

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession:
"Today I enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh. Father Goodwim came to me and told me that I had the gates to Heaven here between my legs. Then he said that he had the key to Heaven, and he put it in the gates."
"BASTARD!" cried the Mother Superior. "For years he told me it was Gabriel's trumpet and I have been blowing it."

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers, on their way to classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies."
The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue.
A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them with, "Good morning, Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom for our students today."
"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with you." But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed today." more...