Superman Jokes / Recent Jokes

If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him?

One sunny afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that
day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman's house. Supe: "Hey Spidey,
let's go get a burger and a beer!". Spidey: "No can do, Supe. I've got a
problem with my Web-shooter. Can't fight crime tomorrow without it".
So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave to see what's up. Supe: "Hey, Batman!
Let's go get a burger and a beer!". Batman: "Not today, my friend. My
BatMobile is down and it must be fixed today. Can't fight crime tomorrow
without it".
Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air, cruising around the
skies when he flies over a penthouse apartment. And what to his SuperVision
does he see, but none other than WonderWoman, lying on the deck,
spread-eagle, stark-naked! Supe gets a brilliant idea: "They've always said
I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be
like with all her more...

At his request, each morning three-year-old Ray's mother pinned a bath towel to the back shoulders of his size two T-shirt. Immediately in his young imaginative mind the towel
became a brilliant magic blue and red cape.
And he became Superman. Outfitted each day in his "cape," Ray's days were packed with adventure and daring escapades. He was Superman.
This fact was clearly pointed out last fall when his mother enrolled him in kindergarten class. During the course of the interview, the teacher asked Ray his name.
"Superman," he answered politely and without pause.
The teacher smiled, cast an appreciative glance at his mother, and asked again, "Your real name, please."
Again, Ray answered, "Superman."
Realizing the situation demanded more authority, or maybe to hide amusement, the teacher closed her eyes for a moment, then in a voice quite stern, said, "I will have to have your real name for the more...

Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. "Superman don't need no seat belt," Ali growled. "Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane!"

Their was a kid name Carlos the teacher ask him what is one plus one he did not answer. What is two plus two he did not answer. What is three plus three he did not answer. Then she said go home and learn three things. He went home and turned on the tv and the first thing he learn was Superman. Then he changed to comedy videos and the second thing he learn was "
Come on Baby Lets Role."
Then he heard two kids fighting outside and he heard "
Fuck You Bitch,"
so that was the thirdthing he learned. He went back to school and the teacher said did you learn three things "
Fuck You Bitch"
who do you think you are "
Superman"
and She said you want to go the principals office "
Come on Baby Lets Role."

A boy in a 2nd grade class was given an assignment by his teacher.
The assignment read as follows.
"
Pick Four sentences that you hear along the way home and bring them to school tomorrow to recite"
The young boy decided that he will pick his sentences from people on the road.
He walks down a street in the projects and hears a man arguing with his wife- "
shut the fuck up before i kill you"
He writes that sentence down
Then he hears a girl tell a boy on the corner "
who the fuck do you think you are bitch"
He writes that sentence down
Then he sees a group of kids playin a superhero game. He hears ' You know who i am? Superman!!
He writes it down
He hears a couple say "
Yea, Come on baby and lets go have a fuck "
He writes his final sentence down with excitement
The following day at school, his teacher says "
please recite your sentences"
He says "
Shut more...

Two friends, Tony and Timmy, did not memorize the poems they needed to learn for their class. Due to this, their teacher scolded them. When they got home that night, they got to work memorizing the poems. Timmy memorized his poem well, but Tony did not like the subject of his poem and became frustrated. He goes to his mom who is working in the kitchen. "Mom, do you know any poems?"
"Just shut up!" she snaps at him. Tony writes, "Just shut up" on a piece of paper. He then goes to his dad who is busy working in his home office. "Dad, do you know any poems?"
"Just throw that in the dustbin," his dad mutters. Tony writes, "Just throw that in the dustbin," on the paper. He goes to his older brother who is watching his favorite movie, "Superman" on the television. "Michael, do you know any poems?"
"Superman!" he shouts angrily at his brother. Tony writes, "Superman" on the piece more...