Supermarket Jokes / Recent Jokes

*** Things that can and do bother the "normal" person. ***Having to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thingy in the middle of them.The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle. The same person that gives you a "blank stare" when you look at them.There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug. Especailly since you don't even have a dog! There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror anddiscover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.You slice your tongue licking an envelope...OUCH! Your tire gauge lets out more...

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. ”
“Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes? ”
The woman looked puzzled. “Why talk to me? ” she asked.
“Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere! ”

I was shopping at our local supermarket. When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead ofme. As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her,"Paper or plastic?" "It doesn't matter," she replied, "I'm bisacksual."

Scam alert!!!
Please note that whilst shopping at the local supermarket you may be approached by two busty 18 to 20 year olds who will offer to help you put your shopping in the back of your car. As payment they will want a ride to the next supermarket.
Whilst in the car they will proceed to kiss each other, rub their breasts against each other and then offer to satisfy you.
Once you reach the next supermarket you will notice your wallet has been stolen!!
I lost mine on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and twice on Friday !!!

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it until you walk across your living room rug.

The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.

You slice your more...

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."