Supermarket Jokes / Recent Jokes
man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere."
Preparation for ParenthoodPreparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books anddecorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parentsto take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being amother or father. 1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick abeanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go the local drug store, tip thecontents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist tohelp himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salarypaid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper andread it for the last time. 2. Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple whoare already parents and berate them about their methods ofdiscipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, andhow they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways inwhich they might improve their more...
Two woman are fighting in the supermarket. One quickly got the Folgers coffee, and dumps down the other woman`s shirt. The lady asks why did she did that? Her response was, "There`s nothin` more better than waking up with Folgers in your cup."
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket cart?
A: The supermarket cart has a mind of its own.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket cart? A: The supermarket cart has a mind of its own.
An old guy was wandering around a supermarket calling out - "Crisco? Crisco? CRIS-CO!!"
Finally, a clerk approached him and said, "Sir, the Crisco in on aisle seven."
"Oh," the old guy said, "I'm not looking for Crisco. I'm calling my wife."
"Your wife's name is Crisco?" the puzzled clerk asked.
"Hell, no," the old guy said. "I only call her that when we come to the supermarket."
"Oh? Well, what do you call her when you're not in the supermarket?" asked the clerk.
"Lard Arse!" replied the old guy.