Supplies Jokes / Recent Jokes
THE ORIGINAL VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN CANADIAN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such more...
Construction, and many more....!
"Construction site"
An Italian, Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction
site. The manager points out a huge pile of sand and says to the
Italian, "You're in charge of sweeping". To the Irishman, "You're in
charge of shovelling". To the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of
supplies".
"Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a
dent in that pile."
So the manager goes away for a couple of hours. And when he returns,
the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you
sweep any of it?
The Italian guy replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese
guy was in charge of the supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't
find him."
So then the manager turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.
The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get more...
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shovelling." To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.
He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."
Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left more...
A man, heavily drunk, went to church on a Sunday, few minutes before the mass began. The priest, who was standing outside the church, asked him, "Don't you now that it is a sin to come to church after drinking alcohol?" The man replied coolly, "I know that, Father. I have come to confess, to purge my sins." Religious
Man On an Island "A man, his dog, his goat and their needed supplies are on a great ship. During a wicked storm lightning hits it and the boat sinks they wash up on shore, the man, the dog, the goat, and even the needed supplies.
The man then pops a boner, he looks at the dog, "Nah!", says the man. looks at the goat, "Eh what the hell.", and he tries to screw the goat. the dog bites his arm and gets him away from the goat for a few days.
A few days later he spots a woman on a boat in the middle of the ocean. He swims out there and saves her. Then he realizes, "God Damn shes hot!" She wakes up and says, more...
These two guys had both just gotten divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again.
They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader's store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year."
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one's supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys said "What's that board for?"
The trader said, "Well, where you're going there are no women and you might need this."
They said "No way! We've sworn off women for life!" The trader said," Well, take the boards with you and if you don't use them I'll refund your money next year.
"Okay," they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader's store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man more...
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that more...
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "Youre in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "Youre in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "Youre in charge of supplies."The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back."A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched. Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, "Why didnt you sweep any of it?"The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!"Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, " Didnt I tell you to shovel that sand?"The Scotsman more...