Supply Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill, James and David were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Bill won the first prize - a whole year`s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. James was the winner of the second prize - six month`s supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And David won the sixth prize - a toilet brush. When they met in the pub a week later, David asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes. "Great," said Bill. "I love spaghetti." "So do I," said James. "And how`s the toilet brush, David?" "Not so good," David said, "I reckon I`ll go back to paper."

Is there only one part of the body that has no blood supply? I think it depends on the person, for example: For a Republican, its the brain For some Democrats, its everywhere except `way down there' For an IRS agent, well, they kinda suck all your blood anyway and they have no heart. .. Post Office - If you look at how fast they move, the entire body. John Bobbit - Well, you know the answer to this one

In early years of World War II, three soldiers were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison.
However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five
years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The first one says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!" His wish is granted, and they lock him
away with his beer.
The second one says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!" His wish is granted, and they lock him
away with his brandy.
The third one says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!" His wish is granted, and they lock
him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, toward the end of the war, the Germans come to release the three prisoners. First,
they release the one who asked for beer. He staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the one
who asked for brandy. He also rolls out rather more...

Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:
A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.
After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check.
However, due to the name of the company, few people will present these checks to their banks.
The name of the company: "The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle.
They bought five tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.
Tom won the first prize - a whole year's supply of Gourmet Spaghetti sauce.
Dick was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long Gourmet Spaghetti.
And Harry won the sixth prize - a Toilet Brush.
When they met in the pub a week later, Harry asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti."
"So do I," said Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Harry?"
"Not so good," Harry said, "I reckon I'll go back to paper..."

This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas gift:
PHOTO PANTIES:
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties for only $19. 95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this can be put to.
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II:
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and includes questions about subjects such as the difference between Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.
FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS:
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in extremely arid regions.
WAX BULLETS:
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.
LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS:
Decorate your house in Southwestern style with our live tumbleweeds. Only $44. 00.
MARS LANDERS:
NASA is offering its surplus Mars more...

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
Dr. Seuss coined the word "nerd" in his 1950 book "If I Ran the Zoo."
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.
The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.
Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.