Surgeon Jokes / Recent Jokes

When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," admitted the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.

A whore met a plastic surgeon and asked him to make another hole
"What you need anoda hole for?" Asked the surgeon.
"Business is good" Replied the whore "So I want to open another branch"!

Five doctors went to on a duck hunt: a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist. After a while a bird came winging overhead, the GP raised his shogun but didn`t shoot because he wasn`t sure if it was a duck or not. The pediatrician also raised his gun, but then he wasn`t sure if it was a male or female duck, so he didn`t shoot. The psychiatrist raised his gun and then thought, I know that`s a duck, but does the duck know it`s a duck?" The surgeon was the only one who shot. Boom!! He blew it away. Then he turned to the pathologist and said, "Go see if that was a duck."

A Cardiologist came up with a new operating procedure that would cut down the time that heart surgery would take and would cause less trauma to the patient. He was praised by his peers when he presented it at a convention in Washington D.C. He was also paid $50,000 to present his findings.
The cardiologist did a few more of these presentations and realized that it would be more lucrative to do lectures on his findings rather than continue to work as a surgeon. So he decided to do the lectures full-time. He hired a driver and purchased a limousine.
One day, after he'd been doing the lecture circuit for about 6 months, his driver turns to him and says, "You know... This is completely unfair."
"What do you mean?" asks the surgeon.
"Well, you get paid $50,000 every time you do this lecture and that's more than I get paid in a year," replies the driver.
The surgeon explains to him that it is a very complicated procedure and that he is the more...

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful - the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems:
First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."
She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about more...