Susie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny's Joke
Little Johnny was sitting on his backyard swing set with some of his sixth grade schoolmates one Saturday when they started to tell some jokes to each other.
Little Susie started off by saying, "Knock, knock?"
Everyone answered, "Who's there?"
Susie says, "Boo!"
Everyone replied, "Boo who?"
To which Susie said, "Why are you all crying?" and everyone broke out laughing.
At this point, Little Johnny got up and started into his joke, "Hey, did you all hear about the prostitute who got fingered by Captain Hook?"
Immediately, Little Johnny's mother, who was nearby watering the roses and had heard Little Johnny start off, came rushing over and shouted, "Alright Little Johnny! That's enough! In fact, all of you kids can go home now. Leave, please."
The following Saturday, Little Johnny again invited his friends over, this time to play some video games. During a lull more...

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right more...

Susie brought home her report card and her marks were very good, one B and the rest were all A's. Her teacher had also written a note at the bottom which said, "Susie is a very bright little girl, however she talks far too much in class. I do have an idea I am going to try which I feel may break her of the habit."
Susie's father signed her report card and included his own note for the teacher, which read, "Please let me know if your idea works because, if so, I would definitely like to try it on her mother."

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.

He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.

The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"

Susie replied, "I just love it! It''s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there''s one thing I don''t understand though..."!


"What''s that, sweetie?" asked her husband.


"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

Susie Lee fell in love.
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all,
she told her Pappy so.
Pappy told her, "Susie Gal,
you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' maw don't know,
but Joe is yo' half-brother."
So Susie forgot about her Joe
and planned to marry Will.
But, after telling Pappy this,
he said, "There's trouble still.
You can't marry Will, my gal,
and please don't tell yo' mother,
cause Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is yo' half-brother."
But Mama knew and said "Honey Child,
Do what makes yo' happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
you ain't no kin to Pappy!"

Susie rushed home from school and told her mother that little Johnny had kissed her after class.
"My goodness," gasped her mother. "How did that happen?"
"It wasn't easy, Mom," Susie explained. "It took three of my friends to help me catch him!"

Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all that hair.Susie: I didn't get it all cut.