Susie Jokes / Recent Jokes

In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum, because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette"
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"
He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having
a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son
replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The
father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him
goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes
his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had
died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him
to bed. The next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him
goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes
his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died.
The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed more...

One day Johnny and Susie were playing tag outside. They both got really hungry so Johnny asked his mother to make them something to eat she replied with, "Yes but go upstairs with Susie because it's getting cold outside. I'll call you when it's ready."
So Susie and Johnny decided to play house. 15 minutes passed and Susie and Johnny were thinking on what to do next. "Johnny," his mother said. "Huh?" I guess she didn't here him so she said, "Johnny Humper." So for some reason he said, "Okay," and started humping Susie. "Johnny Humperharder." So he started humping her harder. "Johnny Humperharder," she said even louder and he humped her like he never had before. So then his mom yelled, "Johnny stop playing games and come here right now," and he said, "I can't it's stuck."