Susie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Susie was watching her father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" she asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage".
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you".
Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here".
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block".
The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?"
The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!

A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you".
Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here".
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?"
The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!

A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?"Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat.""What's that mean?" asked the child."Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage".The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you".Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here".He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block".The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?"The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!

Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house.
They both decided it was time to get married.
So Little Johnny went to Susie's dad to ask for her hand in marriage.
"Where will you live?" asked Susie's dad, thinking this was cute.
"Well," said Little Johnny, "I figured I could just move into Susie's room. It's plenty big for both of us."
"And how will you live?"
"I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance.
That should be enough."
Getting exasperated since Little Johnny seems to know all the answers,
Susie's dad asked, "And what if little ones come along?"
"Well," said Little Johnny, "we've been lucky so far!"

One Sunday morning, as was his custom, the pastor of a small church had all the children come up front for a brief children's church. He enjoyed asking the children various questions, and hearing their answers. On this particular morning, he noticed little Susie feeling a bit shy, so he leans over to her and says, "Susie, that's certainly a lovely dress you're wearing!" Little Susie then leans over and says right into the pastor's lapel mic, "yes, and my mommy says its a bitch to iron".

In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about materials.
So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?"
Little Richie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on Little Susie .
Little Susie said "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Ferrari."
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnnie.
Little Johnnie stood up and said, "I would want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why Johnnie?"
He responded by saying, "because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!"