Susie Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No, because the dog is in heat." "What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage."
The little girl went to the garage and asked "Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you."
Dad said, " Bring Susie over here" He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear-end with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash.
Dad asked, "Where is Susie?"
The little girl said, "She will be here in a minute, she ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home."

On the first day of school, the teacher went around the room and asked each student what their father does for a living.
"My father is a fireman. He fights fires for a living," Susie said. "Very good Susie," said the teacher.
"My dad is a lawyer," said Sam. "He helps good people, and puts bad people in jail." "Thank you, Sam," replied the teacher.
Next, the teacher asked Johnny what his father does. "Oh, he's dead," replied Johnny.
"I'm so sorry, Johnny," the teacher replied. "What did he do before he died?"
"First he turned blue, then he shit on the carpet!" Johnny answered.

Little Susie was Mommy's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, everything was on, Mr. Smythe the guest came in, and everyone sat down.
Then Mother noticed something was missing....
"Susie, dear," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smythe's place."
"But, Mommy, I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susie. "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

Little Susie was Mommy's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, everything was on, Mr. Smythe the guest came in, and everyone sat down.Then Mother noticed something was missing...."Susie, dear," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smythe's place.""But, Mommy, I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susie. "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

Little Susie was mother's little helper and always set the table when company was coming for dinner.
The table was set, the visitors had arrived and everyone sat down at the table when Mother noticed that something was missing.
"Susie, you didn't put a knife and fork out for Mr. Grover," mother said.
"I didn't think he would need them, Mommy," Susie explained. "Daddy says he eats like a horse!"

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today.' 'Well, I played in the sandbox,'' she said. The teacher said,' 'If you can spell sand, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie.'' So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did.' 'I played in the sandbox with Susie,'' he said.' 'If you can spell sand, I'll give you a cookie,'' the teacher said. So Billy did. Then the little Russian boy said,' 'Well, I wanted to play in the sandbox, but Billy and Susie were throwing rocks at me.'' The teacher said,' 'Well, that sounds like discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie.''

Little Susie was mother's little helper and always set the table when company was coming for dinner.
The table was set, the visitors had arrived and everyone sat down at the table. Then mother noticed that something was missing.
"Susie, you didn't put a knife and fork out for Mr. Grover," mother said.
"I didn't think he would need them, Mommy," Susie explained. "Daddy says he eats like a horse!"