Sweet Jokes / Recent Jokes
George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.
Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
"Harriet, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for' Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"
Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.
George asked, "How much do you charge?"
"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special more...
Does sweet tea come in sweet, sweeter and sweetest?
Thank goodness the Fourth of July is over - now retailers can get out their Christmas stuff.
I wonder why my wife suggested I list my telephone number in the Yellow Pages under vegetables.
I'd like somebody to ask Disney how they could make a Tarzan movie without a single black person.
Seen on a bumper sticker: "Be the Person Your Dog thinks You Are."
I'm ready to sue the chocolate manufacturers for making me fat. They didn't tell me on the wrapper that I would get fat.
Both the Psychic Hotline and GED classes are advertised during the "Jerry Srping Show." Coincidence?
My son just married a girl he met on the internet. I guess there is such a thing as "love at first site."
If you do not know where you gun lock key is, maybe your child has it.
I hate it when I sneeze and my bra comes undone.
Listening to country music is like watching a soap opera. Knock more...
There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines. Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb to your nose, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"
The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line; "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"
The actor was bewildered, "What happened? Did I forget my more...
Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him
to take her fishing but he kept telling her
she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him
down, he consented, and early one morning they
took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the fish
began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a
fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After
catching their limit, Bubba said,
"Martha, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good
luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time.
If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these
fish, we'll go home."
On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said,
"Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all
the fish are so next time I'll know?"
"Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of
the boat right down closest to the water."
"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever
seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? more...
Once upon in air india flight, one Indian man and a English man were traveling, the indian man got his dinner from home, he took it out the box, and took out a roti (indian chapati) then at that moment english man curiously asked "what's that", the indian replied "bread of India"
After a while the indian took out a gulabjamun (indian sweet), at that moment english asked "whats that" then english replied "sweet of india", after some time the indian guy farted with a big sound at that moment the english man asked "what's that", the indian said thats "AIR INDIA"
In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked' If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?'
' That's correct', responded the professor, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked,' Then why doesn't it taste sweet?'
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class... and never returned.
However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic... Totally straight-faced he answered her question,' It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat.
Banta and Preeto decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Mumbai. When they entered the hotel and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. Banta brushed her off."
Preeto objected, "That young woman was nice, and you were so rude."
"Preeto, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, Banta called down to the desk and asked for that girl to come to room 326.
"Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"
Soon, there was a knock on the door. Banta opened it and girl walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.
Banta asked, "How much do you charge?"
"Ten thousand basic rate, three thousand tips for special services."
Even Banta was taken aback. "Ten thousand !! I was more...