Swim Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet. The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second. An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.

Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't? Aardvarks don't have trunks!

Q. Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
A. To keep its nuts dry.

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. Banta ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you Rs 500."
Banta dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, Banta said, "Okay, where's my Five hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." Banta reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother- in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I came back.

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help.
A local fisherman ran up. The man gasped, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dived into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, buddy, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said... "Just my luck! So tell me, what do I owe you?"