Swim Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter that was single.One day he decides to throw a huge party, during the party he announces: "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give 1 million dollars or my daughter to the man that can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"As soon as he finished his last word there was the sound of a large splash! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all his might, the crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking. Finally, he made it to the other side unharmed.The millionaire was impressed, he said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain, which do you want my daughter or the 1 million dollars?"The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the person who pushed more...

A male and a female killer whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when the male looked up and saw the same whaling ship that killed his father several years earlier.
Excited at the possibility of being able to avenge his father's death, the male said to the female, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time. That should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried and, sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Shortly thereafter, however, the whales noticed that the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming toward the shore.
The male was enraged that they were getting away, so he said to the female, "Quick, let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
This time, the female wasn't quite as cooperative. "Listen," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"

theres a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead and their ship breaks down 20 miles from an island. the redhead decides to swim to the island. she swims 5 miles, and drowns. the
brunette decides to swim to the island. she swims 10 miles and drowns. the blonde then decides to swim to the island. she swims 19 miles, gets tired, and swims back to the ship.

Well the King's daughter was into her mid twenties, and the king didn't want his princess to be an old maid. The princess wasn't the most beautiful of women, andwasn't having any luck finding a suitable husband. TheKing finally decided to take matters into his own hand. He had flyers printed up and posted all over the kingdom,"who so ever wishes to marry the princess should appear at thecastle at noon, the following Sunday."Only three suitors arrived at the castle. The king decidedto have a test to determine who would get his daughter's hand. Each suitor would have to climb the castle wall, swim the moat, and then have sex with one of the castle's cows. The first suitor didn't even make it over the wall. The second suitor made it over the wall, but couldn't swim the moat. The third suitor, climbed the wall, swam the moat, fucked the cow, and wasn't even tired. The king went up to him, and said "Congratulations, you are the onlyone worthy enough to marry my more...

Well the King's daughter was into her mid twenties, and the king didn't want his princess to be an old maid.The princess wasn't the most beautiful of women, andwasn't having any luck finding a suitable husband. TheKing finally decided to take matters into his own hand.He had flyers printed up and posted all over the kingdom,"who so ever wishes to marry the princess should appear at thecastle at noon, the following Sunday."Only three suitors arrived at the castle. The king decidedto have a test to determine who would get his daughter's hand.Each suitor would have to climb the castle wall, swim the moat, and then have sex with one of the castle's cows. The first suitor didn't even make it over the wall.The second suitor made it over the wall, but couldn't swim the moat.The third suitor, climbed the wall, swam the moat, fucked the cow, and wasn't even tired.The king went up to him, and said "Congratulations, you are the onlyone worthy enough to marry my daughter."And more...

There was a duckling that was crying near a lake, so an owl flew down to see what was the matter with it. "Why are you crying, duckling," the owl asked.
"My parents walked into the middle of the road and got ran over by a truck, so I don't know who or what I am", said the duckling.
"Well, you're a duckling sitting by a lake, so you must be supposed to swim," said the owl. The duckling was amazed at the wisdom of the old owl, and asked how he could ever repay him. The owl told him to simply repay the same kindness to another creature someday.
Thrilled with his new-found sense of self, the duckling went to the lake to go for a swim, determined to someday repay the favor to another animal.
He arrived at the other side of the pond and saw a crying skunk. "Why are you crying?", asked the duckling.
"My parents walked in the middle of the road and got ran over by a truck, so I don't know who or what I am," said the baby more...