Swimming Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardar Banta Singh was Punjab's long distance swimming champion. He had crossed and re-crossed all Punjab's rivers in flood without any difficulty. Somebody told him that if he swam the English Channel, he would earn international fame. So Banta arrived in England and began his swim to France. Half way across the 22-mile channel, he decided he couldn't make it to the French Coast. So he swam the same distance back to England.
Incident at the old swimming pool
by jiM Mica
I'm sure I've mentioned that I swim at the pool at work whenever I can. The pool seems to be the exercise venue for the halt and the lame. Professor Richs started going there years ago when he hurt himself running. I go there with my obesity and diabetes. And, Dr. Stan has been swimming since he lost the front end of a foot in a car accident a while back. Before the accident he was an ardent runner.
Besides us old coots, the pool also serves as an exercise spot for many physically and/or emotionally challenged kids. They get brought to the pool by their parents and then get to swim under the watchful eye of our physical therapy students -and their instructors of course.
The strangest thing happened a few weeks back when Dr. Stan and I were leaving the pool for the showers and a bunch of the young kids were being readied for their turn in the water. As we walked by the kids, exchanging pleasantries as usual, one of the more...
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. ” They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female “lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore. ”
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. “Look, ” she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen! ”
A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished. When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ''I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.''
When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet?
When your bald!
Aussie swimmer Ian Thorpe skipped the Speedo International, his last chance at competition before the trials for the World Swimming Championships. Thorpe's ability to win without practice is especially impressive when you consider that he has to swim counterclockwise.
Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father five years ago.
Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's death, the male whale says to the female, "Let's go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales."
The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly.
Once the whaling ship has completely sunk, the male whale notices that most of the sailors are making their way back to the shore by either swimming or in lifeboats. Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale yells, "They're going to shore--Let's go gobble them up!"
Just then, the female whale becomes less cooperative: "HEY!," she says, "I agreed to the blow job, but there is NO WAY I'm swallowing seamen!"