Taste Jokes / Recent Jokes

Biology Class In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (FRESHMAN) raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar in male semen?" "That's correct", responded the professor, going on to add statistical info. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class.... and never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's reply was classic.... Totally straight-faced he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat."

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumicestones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine." Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these,"announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identifythe taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacherhad them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every oneof the children was stumped." I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something yourDaddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time." Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouthand shouted, "Spit' em out, you guys, they're assholes!"

After his recent stay in the hospital, Pa was particularly irritable, especially regarding food. At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal and the waiter provided a bowl of soup.
As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!"
"Yes, sir, is there something wrong?"
"The soup. Taste it," replied Pa.
"I beg your pardon, sir?"
"Taste it."
"But, sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent."
"Taste it," Pa persisted.
"Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients."
"Taste it!"
The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?"
To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha... "

The owner of an apple orchard invited a local patent office representative to visit his orchard so he could apply for a patent on some of his hybrid apples. The patent officer informed the man that a patent could not be issued for apples, because hybrid or not, they were God's creation. The farmer said, "Yeah, but once you've seen and tasted my apples I'm sure you'll change your mind."
The farmer took the patent officer to one of his trees and told him to pick an apple from the tree and taste it. The patent officer picked an apple, tasted it and exclaimed, "Wow, that tastes just like an orange!" The farmer said, "Now turn it over and take a bite." The patent officer did just that and exclaimed, "Wow, this side tastes just like a banana!" The farmer said, "Now you see why I want this patented. I've developed this breed of apple scientifically."
The patent officer remained firm, that an apple or any other fruit is not eligible more...

It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher decides to do taste association.' I'll blindfold you and give you a lifesaver, and you tell me what flavor it is,' she tells the children. So she gives them all a cherry flavor, and says,' What flavor is that?' The whole class answers' Mmmm, that's cherry.'' Very good,' the teacher replies. So she gives them all a grape and they reply,' Mmm, that's grape.'
' Very good,' she says again.
Then she gives them all a honey flavor. The whole class sits perplexed by the strange taste, so the teacher says' OK, I'll give you a hint, it's something your parents might call each other.'
Billy spits his out on the floor and yells,' Spit' em out everyone, they're ASSHOLES!'

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee

(Hardly seems worth it)


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb

(Now that's more like it)


The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet (Wow...!)


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life I want to be a pig)


A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)

(I'm still not over the pig)


Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Do not try this at home. . maybe at work)


The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm more...

A couple of maintenance men are working around launch pad of the space shuttle
one day, when one of them notices some fuel leaking from one of the fuel
lines. They call mission control, who instructs them to try and contain the
fuel till they can figure out what to do about it.
They start collecting it into buckets, cans, jars, whatever they can find
around. After several hours (it takes mission control a long time to figure
out how to stop these things) one of them decides to take a taste of it.
Jim: "Hey, Joe! Take a taste of this stuff. It ain't half-bad."
Joe: "Are you crazy?"
Jim: "No, really. It's kinda like vodka or something."
Joe: "You're right! This is pretty good!"
Jim: "Yea! And I think I'm getting a good buzz off it too."
So Jim and Joe continue to drink their new-found drink and mop-up the rest of
the spilt fuel, though by now they're not really minding the work. The more...