Taxes Jokes / Recent Jokes
Tax Collector: Why don't you pay your taxes with a smile? Taxpayer: I'd love to but you insist on money!
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile."
"Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carr, with a giant grin on his face. "I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."
A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."
The Top 10 Things Overheard In A Tax Preparer's Office Prior To The Tax Filing Deadline
No sir, the government does not want you to pay your taxes in pennies.
I have a hard time believing that a garbage collector made $150, 000 last year so for the last time, DID YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOURCE OF INCOME!!!
How cute... a tax form done in crayon.
No sir, its do your taxes every year and renew your driver's license every 4 years, not the other way around.
Just because you talk to your plants ma'am, you cannot, repeat CANNOT list them as your dependants.
No Ms Lewinsky, your oval office "contributions" are not the same as when you check the dollar box at the top of your 1040 form.
Even if you are a hooker, the number of orgasms you've had cannot count as a business expense.
I'm sorry, I'm not sure I follow your "Give me an extension and I'll give you an extension later at my place" more...
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That`s the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Holy Bible is only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913, to 7 million words today.
There are at least 480 different tax forms, each with many pages of instructions.
Even the easiest form, the 1040E has 33 pages in instructions, and all in fine print.
The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times around the earth.
Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.
American taxpayers spend $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.
The burden of compliance is the equivalent to a staff of 3 million people working full time for a year, just to comply with the taxes on individuals and businesses.
The more...
Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn't get worse every year.