Taxi Jokes / Recent Jokes
You know you have been in Russia too long when. ..
You have to think twice about throwing away the empty instant coffee jar.
You carry a plastic shopping bag with you "just in case."
You say he/she is "on the meeting" (as opposed to the more proper "at the" or "in a" meeting).
You answer the phone by saying "allo, allo, allo" before giving the caller a chance to respond.
You save table scraps for the cat(s) living in the courtyard.
When crossing the street, you sprint.
In winter, you choose your route first by determining which icicles are least likely to impale you on the head.
You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga.
You let the telephone ring at least 3-4 times before you pick it up because it is probably a miss-connection or electric fault.
You hear the radio say it is just at or below freezing outside and you think it might be nice day for a change.
You argue with a more...
a man arived new from village with a lot of lougages, he stop a taxi and ask, how much is it from here to medina?
the taxi driver said it will cost you 5 L.D., but for your lougages is free, then the man said ok take the lougages to medina i will walk.
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell."
"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.
The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. Come with me, said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool. Wow, thank you, said the taxi driver. Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. Wait, I think you are a little mixed up, said the priest. Shouldnt I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached Gods word. Yes, thats true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.
A man and his wife go out one evening. A few minutes before they leave, they let the cat outside. The taxi arrives. As they step outside, the cat runs back inside. The wife goes and sits in the taxi while the husband goes back inside to get the cat. Not wanting the driver to know that there will be nobody home, she says,"My husbaband went inside to say good-bye to his mother." A short while later, the husband returns and says "I'm sorry, the old thing hid under the bed, and I had to poke her with a coathanger to get her to come out."
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive!"There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"