Taxi Jokes / Recent Jokes

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.""Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this more...

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. `Come with me`, said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool.`Wow, thank you`, said the taxi driver. Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set. `Wait, I think you are a little mixed up`, said the priest. `Shouldn`t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God`s word.` `Yes, that`s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.`

1.Your mums so dumb that she got locked in a grocery store and died of hunger.
2. your mum is so dumb that she got locked in a bed store and slept on the floor.
3.Your mum is so fat that when she was walking down the street wearing a yellow jacket someone called out "taxi taxi".
4. your mum is so fat that when she was walking on the beach the whales jumped out and started singing "we are family..."
5. Your mum is so fat that when she got in a lift and pressed the up button it went down.

Your Momma so Fat Wen she put on a yellow raincoat people think shes a taxi...

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."

"Oh, they are only jokes. There are allot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you."

So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver."Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if i'm home." said the brunette.

The taxi drove them and when they finally got out the brunette looked at the blonde and said. "See that guy was really stupid."

"No kidding." Replies the blonde, "there was a pay phone just around the corner, you could have called instead!"

Two Yanks touring London in a taxi. What is that asked one of the Yanks. Why that is Buckingham Palace answered the taxi driver. Well you should see the states we have much bigger houses over there, and that. That is the Post Office Tower. Oh our towers are much bigger. This went on for much of the day until they went past a another building. Our buildings are much bigger than that one too. I thought it might be said the taxi driver, That is the mental institute

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan! ”
After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan! ”
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan! ”
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.
The Japanese exclaimed, “Wah… so expensive! ”
There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, very fast! Made in Japan! ”