Taxpayers Jokes

Notice Of Increase In Tax Payments To All Male Taxpayers.
Gentlemen:
The only thing the government has not yet taxed is your "PECKER." Mainly because 98% of the time you pecker is out of work and the 2% it is in the hole. Moreover, it has two dependents who are both nuts.
Accordingly, beginning on April 1 of this year, your pecker will be taxed according to its size. Use the Pecker-Checker scale listed below to determine you tax.
Please insert the information on page 6, section P, subsection z, line 69 of your State Income Tax Form.
Very truly yours,
IRS
Addenum
PECKER-CHECKER SCALE
10 to 12 inches Luxury Tax $50. 00
8 to 10 inches Pole Tax $25. 00
6 to 8 inches Privilege Tax $15. 00
4 to 6 inches Nuisance Tax $ 5. 00
Note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
Please do not request an extension.

It wasn't until after Sue Quirke had shredded the postcard that she discovered it was her tax rebate check - one of millions sent to Wisconsin taxpayers this week. "I just thought it was an advertisement for a free something or other," Quirke said. Quirke's bank has declined to take the check - which she patched back with tape - because it would not go through any of its machines. The state is sending $700 million in tax rebate checks to 2.5 million taxpayers as part of a tax relief package.
The rebates feature a sales tax logo on the back and a quote from Gov. Tommy Thompson: "It's your money!" The state Department of Revenue said it included the logo and quote to prevent people from tossing the card out.
But Willard Riemer, owner of Riemer's Flowers in Thiensville, said the quote from Thompson made him think the postcard was a piece of campaign literature.
"Important stuff from the state usually comes in a yellow envelope," Riemer said. more...

The Gettysburg Address Is 269 Words, The Declaration Of Independence Is 1, 337 Words, And The Holy Bible Is Only 773, 000 Words. However, The Us Tax Law Has Grown From 11, 400 Words In 1913, To 7 Million Words Today.

There Are At Least 480 Different Tax Forms, Each With Many Pages Of Instructions.

Even The Easiest Form, The 1040ez Has 33 Pages In Instructions, And All In Fine Print.

The Irs (Internal Revenue Service - Us Taxing Authority) Sends Out 8 Billion Pages Of Forms And Instructions Each Year. Laid End To End, They Would Stretch 28 Times Around The Earth.

Nearly 300, 000 Trees Are Cut Down Yearly To Produce The Paper For All The Irs Forms And Instructions.

American Taxpayers Spend $200 Billion And 5. 4 Billion Hours Working To Comply With Federal Taxes Each Year, More Than It Takes To Produce Every Car, Truck, And Van In The United States.

The Burden Of Compliance Is The Equivalent To A Staff Of 3 Million People more...

The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Holy Bible is only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913, to 7 million words today.
There are at least 480 different tax forms, each with many pages of instructions.
Even the easiest form, the 1040E has 33 pages in instructions, and all in fine print.
The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times around the earth.
Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.
American taxpayers spend $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.
The burden of compliance is the equivalent to a staff of 3 million people working full time for a year, just to comply with the taxes on individuals and businesses.
The more...

The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Holy Bible is only 773,000 [I don't know what version the author was referring to] words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913, to 7 million words today.

There are at least 480 different tax forms, each with many pages of instructions. Even the easiest form, the 1040E has 33 pages in instructions, and all in fine print.

The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times around the earth.

Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.

American taxpayers spend $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.

The IRS employs 114,000 people; that's twice as many as the CIA and five times more more...